iTech RAP

iTech RAP

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Running Time: 05:33 minutes

There’s neva been an era so replete with invention

Breaking all convention, demanding your attention

So when asked for a technology prognostication

Who was I to refuse the gracious invitation?

Technology prediction is my theology

Like oracles of Greece I’ve no accountability

About the future my vision will be put to the test

So chill out now homies and give yourself a rest

 

 

While we consider what’s happenin’ up in the cloud

The chatter is loud but is your business plan sound?

We got Dropbox, and Carbonite and Sugarsync

With myPCbackup you can store your kitchen sink

The photos of your kids are all on Googledrive

MP3s consume 15 petabytes

Who needs storage at the university?

And I’m not even talkin’ yet about security 

 

 

If you’re cozy with your Mozy you don’t need IBackup

If your network is failin’, the students flash mobbin’

Network engineers’ hearts are throbbin’

And they’re adjusting the knobs while all your jobs

Are still hummin’ --  on the IBM mainframe

Whoa, how did it ever get so insane?

 

I’m not a cloud hater, no not for a nano…

…Secondlife is alive though the island’s deserted

Like the Chevy on the levee my avatar reverted

But I’m really in love with Office 365

I say it’s cool, you’d be a fool, not to enlist

 

 

But as for choice of a browser I really must insist

Though the speed is impressive you cannot use Chrome

 It’s a world of IE --  all roads lead to Rome

Or is it  Redmond -- double-u- A?

Who cares? If you don’t haveta pay…

….The bills it’s simple price elasticity

Why you usin’ so much electricity?

 

 

Ungreen data maps to the apocalypse

Or is it the economy?; ask your CFO which

After all, she da one who writes your paycheck

You catch my drift homies, so what the heck

 

But speaking of cloud I hear there’s Internet2

Delivering good things for me and for you

And helping all our students access e-books --

That’s when they not textin’ or on Facebook

 

When it comes to BIG DATA there’s somethin’ new

It comes in a Box from Internet2

Net Plus is a must, but I think it’s unjust

The NSF mandate we really can’t translate

Reproducible science is their conjecture

But here is where I must insert my lecture

 

Forever with provenance is NSF’s demand

I guess they haven’t read the book by Stewart Brand

He built the Well in ‘85 in San Fran

If you’re too young to remember, he da man

Now that dude rocks: he wants to build a clock

That keeps on tickin’ for 10,000 years

 

And the planet’s slowest computer based on some fears

That our civilization will eventually flounder

 It’s really a counter to keep us thinkin’ green

The Long Now attitude’s what the planet needs

To catalogue the verses, curses, sounds, and the nouns

That characterize our humanity, but I digress

Where was I now? Oh yes the NSF

 

 

Big data I am told must collect it

And slice it, and dice it, and metatag-ize it

They ain’t no  Ronco for this assignment

But listen to me now ‘cause I’m all behind it

Who cares if the astronomers super-size it?

‘Cause it stretches our grey matter, serve it up on a platter

Ain’t no matter put it all on solid-state

Then Hadoop it, MapReduce it, voila the next Betelgeuse

 

Demand aggregation’s the new infatuation; may even solve network saturation

But it better be quick ‘cause the network is sick without IPv6

The switches are clickin’ while the chefs in Hell’s kitchen

Are cookin’ us up a new secret sauce

It’s called Open-Flow, and Google says, “So….

We think it’s cooler than Facebook’s IPO”

I say go with the Flow; it’s scalable control

And the protocol only changes every week or so

 

But one more thing before I end this show,

You got every product, the iPhone you bought it

The Ipad you fought it but then you GOT it

And you gave your old laptop to your family

Does it constitute a regift when it’s technology?

 

The Kindle’s no swindle but some prefer Nook

Serves up zines like a rocket, fits in a pocket, who can mock it?

Or if you’re into other confections, there’s quite a selection in this delicatessan

How about that new Blackberry, the Playbook I mean

Though it’s got a small screen, it’s the flea’s bee’s knees

Droid is so cool it makes a Cylon blush

And Andromeda strain to hear the Droid refrain

You know the one I mean

But hey this ain’t no comedy:  It’s time for BYOD

So let the party begin…I gotta go

Music by Gerry Bayne

Copyright 2012 by Melody Childs